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Saturday, September 18th, 2004
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2:42 am - Yo ho, Maaate
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Lordie, been WAAAAAAAAAAy too long since I updated. I've realised a couple things about LJ. Sometimes I do it for the wrong reasons, like, it's not really a journal of me, but more of a newsletter about me. So, from now on, this journal is a journal. startingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg now.............. full.....stop.
Dear Diary,
Life... good.
Health... good.
Bladder... optimal.
Belly... Content.
Went out with Ali today. It was rediculously funny. I met some guy called Dave, who has this wicked laugh, cause when he's drunk and laughs, he doesn't hold back. I read this saying that goes something like:
Dance as if no-one's watching.
Sing as if no-ones listening.
Love someone as if you've never been heart-broken.
I adore that. But I'm a slave to society. I'm gradually collecting this blockbuster debt, so that's not so swell, and my money keeps disappearing on me. I might go REALLY tight soon. Gotta save for stuff.
Anyhow, I'm now hooked on RUM. Ali and I did this shot called Bacardi 151. It's totally wicked. We were both wasted after it, and then the REAL fun began. Ali was on a mission to hookup, I was on a mission to steal the girls hot friend. All was good and well until Ali set his sights on a chick, but he was suffering severely from beer vision. Dave and I now had the task of aborting this mission. In the end, we pulled him away, dragged him out of the Regatta (literally) and I gave him the biggest slap over the back of the head for scaring me like that :D
The end.
I love happy endings.
-PAAAAAAAUL
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| Friday, April 23rd, 2004
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4:31 am - "Is it eternal happiness, or a squished marshmellow?"
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I got a haircut today. Let's just say... the hair has been trimmed. I like it. It's nothing drastic, which is swell with me. It's like... switzerland... totally neutral. My hair has declared it wants no part in war. I can dig it. Anyway, what's up with Paul? Not much really in 15 months i want to get away. Haha, that's a long time, but this awesome friend is meant to come visit me
I was thinking, being kidnapped wouldn't be so bad. Like, if people wanted to feed me and stuff, and clean up after me, that's cool. I can also sleep a heck of a lot more. Plus, when i get rescued, i can like, look REALLY ugly and dopey on camera! SCORE! like, I think i would act like the lovable homeless and lost boy, and I will have a really dramatic limp.
I'll be like "Are you my mummy?" and hug the camera guy's leg. HAhahaha, aNyWAY!.... i think i took that scenario too far... I DONT NEED A DOCTOR! Apparently I visit the beach too much according to my hairdresser. Something about my dry hair... or scalp. I forget now. She was nice for an old lady, like, she didn't stick me with a knife, so she's alright in my books.
Wellllll, bye bye journal.
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| Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
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9:39 pm - This crazy man, go Rawr, and i say, *pop!*
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It's been far too long since I updated... and just when you thought you were free of me, I'm back, just like uh, herpes! That was uh, a little more vulga then i like, so uh, think of rabbits... being cute. Anyway, what have I done? You really have that long to read? Ok, Univeristy sux. Someone shoot me, or help me, cause I'm drowning in some form of wet, uh, matter... oh, that's right.. people call it water.
Ok, so much has happened. But, to keep it short and simple, and so that I don't have to scour the jungle, which is my brain, let's say that I was uh, kidnapped by, uh... bears. And I just like, ate them all or something. So here I am now, safe and sound. I hope you missed me dearly :P
Well, bye bye... and STAY AWAY FROM BEARS! They are not as cuddly or tastey as they appear.
-Luv paul.
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| Saturday, April 10th, 2004
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6:37 pm
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| Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
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8:04 pm - woooooooo
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8:02 pm - Test
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| Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
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11:03 pm - Lonely textbooks
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I neglect my textbooks. But today, i achieved WORK! Yes, i accomplished something. TAKE THAT WORLD, GIRL POWER! :D Anyway, life is good... my bed beckons me, but i have not been in here for a while so i thought i would make the effort... that package I am making for my pirate firend.... Who was elected for not only councillor of brisbane, but also Mayor, will either cost $12.5 or $7.5 Pretty good. Australia is cool when it comes to cheap mail. I have lotsa goodies to find.
Uni was the best today. I cried like, 3 times and couldn't breathe once. Me and this guy called evan laugh all the time. It's great. he was telling me this story, and he kinda giggled... so i laughed a lil, so he went spacco and laughed and it became a struggle to survive this onslaught of fun since we both could not breathe. Good times.
Oh, i hate being in the city when going to and from uni. I get depressed everytime i see a bum. I want to kick their nuts and scream in their ear "HOW THE HECK DID YOU GET TO THIS povERTY... IDIOT!" cause aus has the BEST dole system ever. if you are living and are pov, you get money for nothing! Like... thankyou parents for freaking earning too much and not sharing the wealth. Also, want to know what sucks and rocks? My mum is getting a divorce soon i think... SUCKS since I hide in my room pretty much all the time now. I can't wait till it's over. I want to feel safe in my own freakin house.
Well... I am on top of my assignments, so now it's time to drool on my pillow.
Ciao!
-PuAUL!
Now with 25% extra letters.
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| Friday, March 26th, 2004
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10:58 am - My burp has no taste
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Yesterday, was.... hellish. So many classes and so much work to do -_-' It was insane. I was at uni for like, EVER, and went 11 hours without eating. I wanted to fall over and gnaw on a girls ankle. Guy's ankles are too hairy for good gnawing.
In my hungry sleepdeprived state, i slept at uni for half an hour. Falling sleep under a tree, in the warm sunshine, listening to Brody wail into my ear... GLORIOUS. I kinda regret waking up, but when i did wake up, i was pretty freaked out. But, I still had my pants on, and Brody was wailing... so all was well.
-Paul
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| Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
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11:48 pm - My tissues don't attract ducklings -_-;
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One two three take your hand and come with me cause you look so fine taht I really want to make you mine.
*excellent guitar riff*
I want to choose to specialise in international business. I think that would be super funky. I heard if i choose to do that, then i get to learn a language. I sooooo want to learn japanese. Then I will say things like "super happy numBER 1 vacination PilLs" or "fluffy hamster butter make smile like sunshine" because the japanese are notorious for engrish. I just want to continue the proud tradition.
I have an assignment due friday, monday and another the following friday. I hate university, and i hate my lack of commitment to study. I need a nazi tutor, so I can be shackled and forced to study, or, a butler monkey who looks kinda similar to me and can sit my exams for me. That would be nice. Time eat my pillow.
Goodnight
-Palu!
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| Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
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10:20 pm - Does my arse look big in these pants?
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Oh dearie me. Today is like, the best. Totally, I swear. Like, even my aching
body
can't take this smile away from me. Today I got stacks of music in the morn,
like... before 6 in the morn! Like, I swear, i would wake at 6 in the morn if I
knew i
was gettin new music. But anyway, I am thrilled. What else, my morning
presentation wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, however like, the entire
class
pointed out I could not spell strength. Even though I bought them chocolate -_-.
I talked to my old buddy, jono today. We used to be like, totally close, but i
went
to university, and he joined the work force, it sux. But anyway, I totally miss
being
an idiot with him. Like, he's totally retarded mentally like me, so we click. I
want to
lose my inhibitions and become free of social contraints... but i want to do it
with
someone at the same time. Oh well, one day at a time. I think my chucks totally
empower me. I have to think of witty things to write on them, so that whichever
bum steals them will explode from the complex humour.
There's this song I can't get out of my head. It's called "Paco doesn't love me"
i
think. It's by a melbourne chick trio, and it rawks pretty hard. I would sooo
love to
be the lead singer of a chick trio... +1 guy :D. Too bad I suck at most things
musical. I want to get a book out tomorrow from the library. I want to lay in
the
great court at uni (Big green area with trees and nice soft grass) and fall
asleep. I
have like a four hour break in the middle of the day, so i am pretty sure I
should
spend it asleep in public. I'll report on my success.
I want a funky leather jacket and lots more. This friday I'm getting a haircut,
then
totally looking for a job.
-Paul
This journal entry is totally not the funny. Maybe since i only had 4 hours of
sleep.
I'm crashing. I love everyone who smiles at me. Even men... wait... Especially
the
men. I meant... *runs*
*psuedo-gay since 5 minutes ago*
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| Sunday, March 21st, 2004
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8:51 pm - Can i wear my underwear over my pants? Too late to say no!
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Today was pretty rawkage. Instead of doing nerd things like study and assignments, i totally went hardcore and just hung about with friends. It was a ball. We ate, and they both are in love with my shoes i think. Buahaha, i was the poorest fool amongst them, but i felt like the queen of france. HOTDOG! Anyway... that was cool... and my net died in the morning, then came back at night, which i can dig. It's kinda forcing me into society i suppose. Pshaaaaa. anyway... i have to do this assignment soon, but like... i hate walking about university, so i was thinking about getting a wolf and riding it about everywhere. That would be so cool. I saw on discovery channel people petting them, which is like, one step away from riding them. And like... they weren't even mauled at all, which is a bonus. If i get a wolf, i will grow the most funky side burns ever, and will totally make myself look wicked like a wolf, and maybe spontaniously bite people and stuff, like even more often then i do now.
Well, time to study or sleep. Probably the latter.
-Paul
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| Friday, March 19th, 2004
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8:07 am - Deadly chocolate electric platypus!!!
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Alright, my internet is officially dead X_x!!! Like, they were meant to come fix it yesterday but decided to like, have an industrial strike instead. SUCKAGE.. but anyways, my mum is going nuts on the phone so maybe they will come earlier since she knows some people to call to make things happen.
ANYWAY, in gayer news... I almost killed my hand yesterday. It frieken hurt so much i swear. Like, i was in my mums car, she was driving me to the store, and like, the window was kinda down and my hand was resting on it, and then i wanted to put it down more, so i pushed the button down, AND THE WINDOW WENT UP! Oh my gosh! my hand was totally crushed by the window, and had these large depressions. It frieken hurt so much... like, DOwn means Up?!!??!?!!??!?!?!? EXPLAIN VOLVO, EXPLAIN! well anyway... I added volvo car windows to my list of deadly inanimated objects. So far the list looks like this:
Beds with extremely pointy edges
Steps
Shoe laces
Volvo electric windows
I was thinking... when i am being chased by some military unit... i will run until they get tired, and i will make a house full of the stuff in the list above, and i will let the military destroy themselves, then i will totally unleash my army of euro primary school girls, who can beat their force into submission with fluro skipping ropes and hoolahoops. Everyone knows that schoolgirls from europe are totally elite, and like they have to carry around a violin case.
FLAWLESS plan. I sooo should be a general. Anyway... i totally want to get on the net at my place, but i am tormented to come to uni on my day off to study. Well, suckage. However... i bought the red chucks... and feel spiffy. All i need to do now is administer a rightious kick to the buns of evil... or something equally dramatic.
OH! Also, australia is totally the land of the deadly fluffy animals. Like, i have been watching tv and on the news, this lady got bashed by a kangaroo. I was laughing so hard, because she looked like an idiot with the things she said and had bandages totally all over herself. Also, did she really have to show her flabby thigh? Like, i would totally have taken her word for it. Anyway... also, this guy got attacked by a platypus in like the sixties and almost died. I was laughing even harder since these animals are totally like, innocent, hey.
-PAul!:L!hfdkasljf !!!!!, LOVEs PEOPLE WHO smelL likE Chocolate!
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| Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
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10:34 am - My wallet was totally hiding!
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Oh my gosh, yesterday was full of highs and lows. Like, metaphorically even. my friend and I went to the city and like... looked at shoes then like... decided to watch a movie at these cinemas which are extremely cheap because no one goes there, anyway.... on the way there, we got off the bus, and i sooo could not feel my wallet in my pocket, and just as i wanted to check the bus, it drove off... well, i was devastated since it had my movie money, my ID and my bus card... so i had like... no way of getting home for ages. It was sad... well, me and my friend were bummed and contemplating on stealing someform or car... well i was anyway... but then my wallet was in my bag! BUahahaha. VICTORY!
I was soooo happy, like more happy then finding like... chocolate! well, that was like so awesome, and we watched the movie. It was "once upon a time in mexico" and it was totally like... Woah. I was laughing heaps, cause people fly so far when they get shot. If i ever make an action movie, i want my people to fly like, across the room also, like... from even the lightest touch. It will be awesome. *paul pokes friend in the arm... friend flys into a building and demolishes it!* oH yeh! that is sooo my style... but like... when the smoke clears, everyone will be like, having a party under a fire hydrant! and like... everyone is acting like it is a beach, like wearing thongs and stuff, and i will be like... where did you all come from? But anyway!!!! I have the sniffles tragically.
And now my nose is sore. I think i need more sleep, and i am hungry! :D:D:D but apart from that, i'm totally the best today. I had this class and i have to present like, next week with Lloyd. Hahaha, the first phone number i got from uni is a guy's called lloyd. -_-; anyway, that is totally cool, since lloyd is an alright guy. WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL... Still planning my package of Goodness. I think i need to find a box! Buahaha, it's all coming together.
Time to release the nerd within...
-paUl
p.s. I think i saw a dingo the other day while driving.. i so wanted to slam on my brakes and... uh, poke it i suppose. But maybe it was just a normal dog.
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| Monday, March 15th, 2004
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11:49 am - My shoes are leaking
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ok ok ok.... I plan to borrow money today.. and get the shoes! My current ones are like... sponges. I like walk in a puddle, and it disappears... like into my sock i believe. HAhahaha, it's so freakin weird when i take my socks off later, since my toes look like 80 years old. WHA=a=dhasfja
Anyway... i was thinking... if i had to have like... one rule, like numero uno of all rules, it would be something like "When trapped alone, in the arctic, with lots of penguins... Keep pants on, AT ALL TIMES!" or something like that. I seriously don't trust penguins... like... they are so meant to be a bird, but... they like... waddle! It's so wrong.
I'm in the library, and the wall just totally shook like.. insanely... i have no idea what those people are doing on in the toilets... but i am soo not going in there.
If i earn like $100/wk, my mums friend will give me a car for a year. That will be too cool. I swear, come summer time, i am SOOoooo going to the coast everyday. I want to learn how to surf.
I want to get a job at this surf clothing store in aus. I should totally use like.. the lingo when i go for the job... something like... Yo dude. I am like... Bummer, no money. So, i want this radical job, which would be so gnarly, cause i could surf all day.
and i believe this will be me the job. I was kinda thinking... again... anyway... if i could choose to bleed anything, i would want to bleed apple-cherry juice. That would be awesome, or like... strawberry jam.... because it's so delicious.
time to go sleep/study.
YEEEE HAW.
-PaUL!
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| Sunday, March 14th, 2004
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3:56 pm - SUBJECT BLAMO!
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So much has happened... i made a new pic for my lj... i ate cookies my mum baked... I drove heaps... and almost died. It was crazy, i was going 80kph then like... out of no where, there is this speedbump and a sign saying to go 20kph... i was like... Oh OOooooo! And locked the brakes because the road was wet, and kinda braced for impact. Well, i didn't die, but... i was totally scared silly.
What else... oh, i have to apply for jobs next week. like, at retail store i think.... also, i am kinda hoping that my hair will make up for my lack of experience or skill :D I should vamp up my resume also. Uh... What else... Gosh, another week of uni is here. I am totally not prepared. I ought to hide in a cave away from tv and computers so i can get my work done. I have to assemble this rawkage cd sometime soon. I have lots of awesome songs to put on it. Uh, another pointless entry by me. Enjoy
-Paul
p.s. My mum is getting a divorce i think.
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| Thursday, March 11th, 2004
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1:15 pm - Let's do MATH!
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My math lecture was so like, blah blah.... prove that this is true and .....
I was so like, how about I just take your word for it.. Like... i have faith that those smarties in the past proved all these really dull and uninteresting theories they produced. Like.. they should spice them up like... If you multiply a pirate (P) with a zombie (Z)... prove this is greater then a ninja(N) times space (S). And i will so be like YA HARRRR!!!! Tis true me maties! That would totally make me roll down stairs.
Oh, today... like... I was walking, then i look to me left.. and like... this girl was looking at me... so i looked at her... so she looked away... so i threw stones at her... well... i didn't throw stones... but i think she wanted my juice. I bought the sexiest juice EVER. It's cherry and apple. HOW SEXY! It makes my lectures so good... since all i do is drink and try to stay awake. And like.. i think some people smell bad.
TOMORROW I CAN SLEEP IN!!! You americans beware! I'll be able to boggle your minds into a state of confusion, and you will swear you can taste blue!
TAKE CARE ALL!
-Pirate Paul
*Scrubbin deck since... like... a couple weeks ago*
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| Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
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4:06 pm - Repulsive since 1984
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Hey journal.
I BURNT MY FINGER! GAR NAB IT! I was like... WHY PIZZA TRAY?! WHY?!
So terrible, and apart from that people have been saying i am uh, alright looking. LIARS. Everyone else is sexy. I am like... normal. Like, good enough looking for radio. :D:D:D
Anyway, this is pointless so far, so i'll try to endevour on the same track! LOOKING for work SUX! Far out... i need a car. all the work i actually like requires a car! WHAT THE...
So unfair... how can i get a car without a job... and how can i get a job without a car?!
Also, i am really getting busy at university. SO LAME, so i have to find the nerd within and like, torture him with a burning hot pizza tray! Then I will be a study fiend.
Well, will talk later... WAY LATER!
Love Paula :P
PShaaaaaaaaaaa, NAP TIME!
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| Tuesday, March 9th, 2004
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8:14 am - Is it just me... or are my pants on fire?
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Friends ditched me for classes, and i have like 30mins to waste, so it's just me and my journal. This will be a big big big big... did i mention B I G entry.
-paul
just jokes... it goes on SUCKERS! well, i was on the bus yesterday thinking... like... pirates are kinda tough and daring, but i thought i was kinda, tame in my life, so i decided to list some addventurous things I've done. Ten ought to be stacks.
1. I don't tie my shoes with a double knot. Totally daring.
2. I cross the road without looking left or right, sometimes i just start walking.
3. Sometimes I eat food within one week of it's use-by date.
4. I wear mismatching socks when the occasion calls for it.
5. I love cheesy pizza. I could die any moment.
6. I listen to music too loud.
Well, who needs ten examples... but, looking back, i think i'm lucky to have lived this long considering those risque activities.
Uh, I want NEW SHOES! Chucks. They only cost like $100. I think if i sell one of my organs, and uh, my old textbooks, i can get them... Who needs two kidneys anyway? and my liver? pffft, totally overrated. Ummmm, what colour?!?!?!?!?!?!?? oh well, i can sort that out later while i'm in the bathtub full of ice.
Ummmmmmm... i woke up SUPER early again today. it sucks... I swear, the streets are like EMPTY in the early morn. I was like, walking to get picked up by my friend, and was singing songs... like... uh, there was some finch, and uh, blink... and it was going off in a solo sort of way, and then i was totally pretending to be a drummer...
Uh, well maybe this journal wasn't as grand as i expected. Oh, new election for local government coming up. I'm voting my favourite pirate this time, and the slogan is, Too cool to Rule.
Uh, that's about all in my life right now. CLASS SOON. Quickly, before class starts, shoot me! Give me a pirate's death. Shoot me with a LASER :D
Ah, i thought of more useless information. At gym like a while ago.. ((i had a major flashback while waiting for a computer today)) my friend, Ali, is an idiot. To psych himself up, he says... F**K you N*GGA. Hahaha, i laugh so hard. I was thinking what i ought to say to psych myself up. I came up with three:
The cat goes MEOW!
Who stole my cake!
and YOU CALL THIS LOW FAT?!
I thought those rocked pretty hard. Well, this time i am really going. bye bye
-paul
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| Monday, March 8th, 2004
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6:15 am - Crikey, what was that?!
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Storms broke my internet :( How freaking silly is that!? Storms are meant to be all nice and scary, NOT FREAKIN DESTRUCTIVE! AAHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh, so sad. Anyway... UPDATES!!! University = I HATE YOU! :D Well, not really, but.....i am going to be sooooo over worked. I think I'm already like 1 month behind all the work, even though it has only been going for a week! o_O!!! Ummmmm..... also, i have to go in everyday, and i hate busses, because last friday i had to walk home in the rain.... but it was windy and REALLY cold. SUCKAGE!
I soooo want to sing music while i walk... but i can't remember any songs right now. It's tragic. Uh, i know that danger danger one... but without my glowing underwear, it's just not the same.
uh, i get a car ride to uni today... also..... erm..... will anyone make me a sandwich? I swear, sandwiches always taste better when someone else makes them. Mine always taste so boring, no matter what i do to it.
I've never seen a dingo in my life, or a wombat, or a uh.... platypus. Far out, i'm only realising now, i'm not much of an aussie in the original sense of the word, i.e. british convict.
OH MY GAWSH, i need a new bag. I swear, this bag i have right now makes me look like a primary school kid o_#
BYE BYE
-PAULIE
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| Thursday, March 4th, 2004
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6:45 pm - I'm rawking in the rain
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Today is like..... one of those days that rawks so hard, you think you'll get a nosebleed. I woke at like..... 5:45, dressed and ready in 5 mins, ran for about 10mins, got driven to uni, drew pictures during my friends lectures which i attend for no reason other then so i don't look like a homeless begger :D and uh, had general fun.
OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I saw a bird get run over by a bike :( I called him Rex, since he was a real trooper. Like, it was an accident and all, and Rex was a real trooper, not even crying, but... the idiot on the bike was laughing. I swear, that was so lame. I should have thrown my shoe at him or something, or like, run him over with a car, then see how much he laughs. That sucked.
Uh, in other news, bummed around with my friend ALLLLLLLLLL day, and uh.... GOT the most rawkage email todate! Buahahahhaa, it's awesome.
Uh, and later, walking back to my house, it started to rain, and i like, love walking in the rain. It's like.... the best, unless it's totally cold. But it was hot, and rain in the summer is like, uh, fire in winter I suppose.
Uh, WOOOOOOOOO. I just know tomorrow will rawk the kazbaar, like that song, except, without the gay looking haircuts and clothes.... not that i have anything against gays...
<.<
>.>
-PAuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuL!
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